Communication, Finding Your Way, self growth

Becoming…

I am sitting here in this coffee shop/bar in Capital Hill. A place I have wanted to come to. I made it! I wasn’t going to come out of the house today after all of the heartbreak, anger and confusion this weekend. But here I am. Pushing myself to continue to love myself and grow.

It is important, for me anyway, when I am angry, feeling down or lost that I don’t sit around and sulk. I want to, don’t get me wrong. Through any process, it is important to change perspectives, try and maintain positive and remain hopeful. All is not lost. I am becoming the person and woman I have always wanted to be. I know it is in me, it always has been. I am learning that perseption is everything.

I have always had a negitive outlook on life. I blamed my thoughts and actions on my past and how I grew up. I am becoming very grateful for the pain and past I have gone through. Through each painful aspect of my life, I have learned great things.

This weekend I did something with the man I am in love with and probably shouldn’t have. I again was testing my limits. I thought that because it was him, I would be okay, that it wold be okay. It isn’t. I wasn’t okay after. I looked deep inside myself and what I want out of life; In a relationship, self love and self respect. What I have found becuase of this is that I need to communicate my feelings, good or bad. We all do.

I was angry and hurt with myself and so was he for what we did. But why? I was angry because I know where my heart is. I know where I want to be. I have this vision in my head of us and myself as a partner and individual. Crossing boundaries and becoming okay with the ideas that play in my head is pushing me further in my growth and that is the part of me that hurts. I am okay with walking away from all of the ideas.

At the very least today, I walked out of the house. Worked on myself, took a step out, worked on my business, and did some self reflection. I am becoming the greatest me!

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Talk to you all again soon! Inspired Kass XoXo



by Inspired Kass

Communication, Finding Your Way, self growth, Sexual Abuse

Letting Go & Putting the Weights Down…

Through all of these many years I have hung onto the things that have happened to me and others. Causing pain to others and myself. For so long I didn’t realize it was even happening and what was being caused. I continue to talk about the past year and a half because that was a major turning point in reality for me.

It wasn’t the rape, the molestation, group homes, foster care, losing and letting go of three precious human beings or the physical abuse. It was the the miscarriage, the deaths, the suicide, the sexual harrasment and not being able to talk through it. Maybe it was because these aren’t easy topics, maybe it’s because I don’t know how to or the fear of being judge and ridiculed.

No matter the case, the added weight of all of the trauma leading up to now sat with me. Weighing me down in life, my career, my friendships and relationships. The lack of trust in myself manifested and bled into my relationship(s). Oh how I wish I could take so many things back but I can’t and I have to learn to let go, accept and defeat.

I want to let go of the pain and I know it’ll take many steps and time.

I have a couple of girlfriends that have also gone through breaks; one recent and one a couple years ago. One was able to start dating/new realtionship a month after many years being in a relationship and found an amazing man that supports her. The other broke up with her guy a couple years ago and still doesn’t want to be in a relationship. (Love and Fear are strong and powerful)

What I am getting at here is that some can let go and drop the weight, some mask and some never get over the emotion of the past issues or realtionships therefore hindering your future actions and decisions and some do all three.

A friend recently told me it’s totally okay to feel what I am feeling. That it is okay to not be ready, that it is not easy to forgive or move on. Take my time. And that means the relationship I had was real, along with my feelings and it’s okay.

So I went on a date since the recent break up. I wanted to know where I was emotionally. Pushing myself, like always. This journey is going to be harder than I thought. I am in love still and I live in fear of other men. Dealing with the sexual harrasment recently brought up a ton of sexual abuse issues on top of being cat called all of the time and having my ex’s friend try to get me to sleep with him. It makes me question my worth as I already did. Hense why I always needed reassurance from my ex in our relationship. I’m not ready to date, be with anyone sexually. And that’s okay.

I am traumatized!

I am also very devoted to the person I loved and myself. I trust that my heart and working through the emotions/issues will help me grow and not carry so much weight. Who knew the the sex abuse and choices I have made would cause this much pain, not only for myself but for those I care about and will/have been apart of my life. I will be able to show my beauty without being afraid, without being ashamed of always being sexualized, with true love from myself and hope that I will have the support, loyalty and dedication from a true love one day.

….Letting Go & Putting the Weights Down

flock of birds and woman
Photo by Jeanny Paiva on Pexels.com

Communication

Uplifting People, Not Just Women, through Communication

Who said that women are the only ones that need uplifting? We all do. In work, in relationships, friendships and more. I am truly lucky to be in the career I am in with wonderful executives. Everyday isn’t sunshine in life and/or at work. Knowing I have wonderful co-workers, leaders, mentor and friends has uplifted me.

Through all of the podcasts, books, seminars, and classes I have gone through over the years, there has been a constant, in maintaining and uplifting yourself as well as others. It is “Communication”. Not everyone communicates the same. It also depends on who and when you are communicating. If we don’t take the time to communicate with ourselves and others, how will things get better or change.

To make change, we must start with ourselves. We have to listen to ourselves and become better listeners. There are many tools to do this. You may be asking why is communication so important to uplifting others. When we listen to ourselves and others (and I mean really listen by putting yourself in their shoes with a caring heart) we automatically show gratitude and respect for one another. This in itself is uplifting. When people feel like they are being heard, no matter if it is at the work place or in a relationship, they are filled with joy and appreciation.

In short, begin listening to yourself. The good and the bad. It is up to you and only you to know what you can handle and where you want the next step to lead. Then you can become a better person in your career, as a team, in friendships and relationships.

-Next we will talk about “Reaction” to the communication.

 

Memorial Camping 2018 by Kass