Finding Your Way, self growth

Embrace the Shame of Others

Why do so many judge people and make others feel ashamed of their selves? There is nothing worse then feeling in-dignified by those that matter to you most. Do you ever think that maybe people are ashamed of you or your actions because they, themselves don’t understand your reasoning or your actions?

For so long, I was ashamed of the things I had gone through in my life. It all started with my mother and what we went through when I was a teenager. I didn’t feel that way again until I started dating this guy, I fell deeply for. I thought he was my forever. He kept me away from friends (most of them) and family. He never wanted to introduce me to his other half of his family. And for the longest time I thought it was because my skin color or what I went through when I was younger or growing up in foster care/group homes. I excepted all of that because I loved him. But it made me feel like my story was shameful and what I went through defined me and I wasn’t good enough. Which in turn, made me ashamed of myself.

Through the past seven months, I have began to really work hard on myself. Going on my first solo trip really helped me. I came back proud and full of life. I knew what I wanted, what my life should look like, where I wanted my career to go but I knew I had to start with me. I came back home and in the past few months I have ordered more then ten books to help in that process. (Names of books at the end of this blog). I was dedicated to embracing the shame of others. And I had to be, if I was going to continue to grow and excel in my career and love life (when that comes).

Embrace the shame of others. You should wear your faults, hurt, past life or whatever others make you feel ashamed of and for. If you feel ashamed from others, you can use it to your advantage to grow and dig deep into yourself. You may find that you are ashamed too. But why? Why are you ashamed? Why do the opinions of others bother you so much? Generally it is because of regret, disbelief, misunderstandings, hurt or anger you caused yourself and/or others.

If you are on the flip side to this and are the one who is ashamed, what makes YOU feel that way? Ask questions? One of the greatest keys in life is our voice. Communicate. There are reasons for everything. Perceptions are dirty. We don’t know what or how people go through things in life. We don’t know their stories.


Embrace it. Feeling ashamed has and continues to push me along. It is my story and no one else lived it but me. Remember that! It won’t be easy but you have to learn to be okay with your past or choices you have made. You can’t go back, only forward and hopefully with a stronger belief in yourself and others!

Books Read(ing):

  • Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur by Cara Leyba
  • Stripped by Cara Leyba
  • Style Your Mind for Success by Cara Leyba
  • Style Your Mind: A Workbook and Lifestyle Guide for Women Who Want to Design Their Thoughts, Empower Themselves, and Build a Beautiful Life by Cara Leyba
  • The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
  • Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant
  • The Trusted Advisor by David C. Maister
  • Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant
  • Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World
  • Everybody, Always Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People by Bob Goff
  • Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together by Erin Lowry

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